


No Hanky-Panky, but This'll Do

by wallywesticle



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: Disappearing Dick, Humorous Ending, Implied Kellis, M/M, Nellis, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 22:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallywesticle/pseuds/wallywesticle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The whole saving thing was Rochelle’s idea. After countless hours spent in one of the safe houses, she learned that Ellis had a thing for a certain conman. That was actually pretty easy to see, she had told him. And though he was embarrassed, he laughed and gave her a hug. That was when she told him what they could do to see if Nick felt them same. So far, so good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Hanky-Panky, but This'll Do

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be smut, but I just couldn't write it. So here's some humor.

“Goddammit, Overalls. You’re seriously killing me here. Stop running into shit like that.” Ellis only chuckled, grin prevalent on his face. It didn’t really bother him to run into hunters. He knew Nick would always save him. The gambler hadn’t failed him yet.

The whole saving thing was Rochelle’s idea. After countless hours spent in one of the safe houses, she learned that Ellis had a thing for a certain conman. That was actually pretty easy to see, she had told him. And though he was embarrassed, he laughed and gave her a hug. That was when she told him what they could do to see if Nick felt them same. So far, so good.

“Sorry Nick,” the hick replied, only wincing slightly as the gambler patched him up. “Got too excited, ah s’pose.”

“Yeah, well stop that. It’s going to get you killed, and I’m not about to let that happen.” Ellis paused from watching Nick apply gauze to his chest to look up into those emerald pools he had grown so fond of. 

“You’re not about tuh let that happen? Why not? Ah mean…you usually act like ah’m more of a hindrance than a help.” Nick laughed. Not a short, raspy chuckle, but a hearty ‘oh-my-god-are-you-so-wrong’ laugh. Ellis sat there, utterly confused and honestly feeling quite foolish. 

“Seriously, Aye-lus? Do you really believe that I don’t like you?” The hick felt himself shrug, ignoring the pain in his back and shoulders. God, that hunter really had slammed him hard into the ground. 

“Ah dunno, Nick. Yew just act like ah’m more of a bother to yew than anythin’ else.” Ellis found his eyes drifting from Nick’s and on to his hands that continued to apply bandages. They were so dazzling white, strong, and slightly calloused from the apocalypse. He wished he could feel those hands on him in a different way than just healing…

But that was besides the point right now. All he wanted was to know what Nick thought of him, truthfully and completely. He was burning to know if they’d ever have a chance, or if he was wasting his time. Those strong, ringed hands quit moving, resting on the back of his neck and his waist. Ellis was sure his heart skipped a beat. With red cheeks and wide baby blues, he looked back at the gambler in bewilderment. There was a soft smile on Nick’s face, pure amusement in his eyes. 

“I like you better than I liked my ex-wife. And I liked her a lot. And I mean a lot, cowboy.” Ellis’ already red cheeks darkened until they were a brilliant shade of scarlet. Did he just call him cowboy? Cowboy. As in horse-ridin’, chap-clad, rodeo-goin’ cowboy? Maybe Nick would use that nickname some other time. 

Dammit, Ellis, focus here. That’s not until later, remember? Calm your damn libido. Clearing his throat, he kept his gaze on Nick’s green eyes, waiting for him to say something else or make a move. After what felt like a never-ending eternity, the conman moved forward, thin lips capturing plump ones in a heated kiss. It seemed much more passionate than he first thought it would be. It was an easy, slow kiss, not rough and aggressive as Ellis had assumed it would be. It didn’t matter, it was still savory and hot. 

The hick refused to let the kiss end so soon, one of his hands lacing through the dark, thick hair at the base of Nick’s neck and holding him closer. The gambler took that as a good sign and pushed his tongue past those deliciously pink lips he knew were bruised by now. Their tongues met and danced together in a fight for dominance that Nick easily won. He explored the southerner’s mouth, pushing himself closer and effectively gnashing their teeth together. Ellis moaned.

Once their lungs screamed for air, they pulled away from each other and panted. Nick found himself tugging at the hem of the soiled bull shifters t-shirt, one hand making its way beneath it and roaming the slightly heated skin. 

“I want this off of you. Now.” He said, pushing it up his body. Ellis only breathlessly complied, pulling it off over his head and tossing it away. The gambler smiled much like the Cheshire cat.   
“How far have you ever gone with a man, Ellis?” The hick seemed dumbfounded. Nick hardly ever used his real name for anything. It was always those nicknames he had grown accustomed to. 

“Well…Mah buddy Keith an’ ah used tuh-” But before he could finish, the conman pressed a finger to his lips and leaned forward. Ellis’ breathing hitched, and he was sure Nick was going to kiss him again. 

“Considering I don’t like your goddamn ‘buddy’, I don’t want to hear about him. In fact, I totally lost my boner. No, I lost my dick. It fucking evaporated somehow just because you and Keith did anything sexual. Say bye to my dick, Overalls. It’s gone. Maybe it’s hibernating. Who knows? It’s just gone.” And then he got up and left the bedroom. He really needed to find some booze.

And though Ellis was left with a bit of a problem and a head hurting from confusion, he found himself smiling. Even though Nick’s penis seemed to have blown into oblivion, he had still admitted he had a thing for him. Though it wasn’t no hanky-panky, Ellis was quite pleased.


End file.
